Seventeen Fic Reviews: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
I lied, it wasn't the last vampirepost
What can you say about Buffy the Vampire Slayer? It was Buffy the Vampire Slayer.1
One of the biggest fandoms ever, mostly running from 1997 to 2003,2 released in the exact window of time where fanfics were really getting going. If you are conceptually close to an internet archivist, you’ll have stumbled upon hundreds of fics and fansites in that awkward period between the beginning of the end for BBSs and the end of the beginning for forums, webrings and personal websites.
This was when Fanfiction.net, Livejournal et al. were entering the scene. Fandom had existed for a long time, of course,3 but this was such an early period that producers were intentionally putting actors, writers and their teams in official forums together with the fans.4 You can see that in The Fuselage (LOST’s official forum) The Bronze (Buffy’s). Only true pioneers of the parasocial phenomenon could still have such faith in the Internet.
Dozens of ship-exclusive fanfic websites existed for every piece of media5, and indeed fanfiction.net and other meta-archives were the exception whenever you wanted to post a new fanfic, not the norm. Most of them are gone today. Regardless, I would hazard a guess that, despite what you may believe, the vast majority of Buffy works from that era were faithfully stored by Archive.org. They had the golden combination of text-based, popular and redundant6 working for them.
But I digress. I barely know what I’m talking about here, my cyberarcheological journey hasn’t even begun yet. I haven’t had to use an archive to find these, and over half of the fics I read are from after the show was long over, grabbed from three sources:
Murazor’s Big List of Recommended Fanfics: god, I wish I had never googled “Buffy fanfic recommendations”, because this guy’s got the worst taste.
Sorting FFnet by favorites, excluding the Romance category, and filtering over 100k words (this is an excellent practice for any fandom).
Getting recommended a single fic on Twisting the Hellmouth, the biggest remaining Buffy-centric fic site, and checking out some of the most recommended works there after I enjoyed it.
As showcased by the exposition above, this is barely scratching the surface of the Buffy fanverse. Think of this more as a status update on what I’ve read so far. I hope I don’t make another vampirepost ever again, though. It most likely will join the group of original works I’ll actively be reading new fancontent from for the rest of my life,7 like Worm or Harry Potter.
But that’s enough context,8 time for the reviews.
Epistatistic status: these reviews use a different grading scale. I’m not actually saying some of these fics are better than Dracula. I’m saying one of these fics is better than Dracula. A 2024 update: the only fic I’d really recommend here is Legend, which in modern terms would be a “*”.
The Good Ones
Tabula Avatar
I haven’t played Baldur’s Gate 2. I would have probably disliked this fic if I had, because it sure seems like a retread of the entire plot, but with Buffy characters added into the mix and quipping once in a while.
In an original Buffy episode, the cast gets their memories stolen by a magic trap crystal set up by a group of nerd supervillains, and a pretty funny episode ensues. The memoryless characters try to figure out their names, occupations and relationships from context, poorly.
This fic extends that episode into the B-plot of the entire fic, as they realize they’re happier without the memories and interpersonal drama, and take over the canon bodies—simultaneously, the supervillain nerds discover a love for game development, and quit villainy. The A-plot involves the now-filled memory crystal being plugged into Baldur’s Gate 2. So you’ve got the story on two tracks, the main cast in a new setting and an only briefly explored cast in the main one.
Interestingly, it includes a redemption arc for the supervillains, one of which was essentially a controlling serial killer in the original. Same with Spike, vampire rapist extraordinaire, and even some Baldur’s Gate enemies—this writer seems to hate the concept of irredeemable evil, and will try his best to make every character likable, even if it drags the plot to a halt with twenty villain interludes. This doesn’t apply to Buffy herself, who is pretty bashed over the head with all the issues in her character that the show itself leaves unaddressed.
The B-plot was pretty funny. The A-plot was entertaining (though it dragged a little) because I hadn’t played the game, and there was some funny dialogue. A charming little plot device is that Giles, the party’s band, is able to use regular rock songs as his magic,9 which is directly and mentioned to be inspired by the Spellsinger series. I wonder if I should read that.
The interludes were the worst, full of gratuitous sex scenes and actively made me drop the story after the first book. Still, a fairly decent first book, and it makes me want to play the game.
★★★★★★★☆☆☆
I Am What I Am
A time-travel fic, featuring a far future Xander.
This one is essentially a fluff story about a broken man reconnecting with his lost wife, which isn’t my scene, but I actually quite enjoyed this fic regardless. I think this writer was competent enough to make me forget about what I was reading.
Heavy use of flashbacks, tugging at heartstrings, surprising character development from the present-day characters, and while typing this I’m still ashamed I’m gonna rate it as high as I am. It did kinda lack in the plot area, and ended prematurely.
★★★★★★★☆☆☆
Carving out a Future
A crossover with another Joss Whedon show: Firefly.
Do not read this if you haven’t watched that show, as it’s unashamed fanservice. For Firefly fans, that means it’s more Firefly.
I’m reminded of Browncoat, Green Eyes, one of my favorite fics of all time, where Xander here is replaced with an old Harry Potter, as both works share some good qualities—the main characters are more grown up to fit the setting, and the ensemble is written just like they are in the show.
In fact, I’m now suspecting either story was inspired by the other. I can’t say anything for the plot, because there really wasn’t much of it, and it’s terribly abandoned! Just good banter and onscreenpage chemistry.10
★★★★★★★☆☆☆
Here is Gone
Another time-travel fic. Instead of merely getting his soul back, Spike is sent back to a loosely rewritten Season Five.
That means fighting the seasonal demonic villain, Glory, while everyone hates him, and having lost his trademark humor because the writer isn’t very witty.
I think I review four or five fics in this article alone where future knowledge is a factor, and I think this is the only one that makes use of the conceit smartly. Not THAT smartly, though, as the solution to the entire season is killing a single innocent person they have to kill by the end anyway—even in canon!
This fic won’t allow Spike to do that, and the inherent Tension of Stupid made me care about the plot far less than I would have otherwise.
★★★★★★☆☆☆☆
The Bad Ones
The Pride of Sunnydale
Remember that one season one episode where Xander got possessed by a magic hyena, an event that later Buffy episodes would constantly reference? It’s a magic lion this time, and it gives Xander cool Gary Stu powers.
The writer narrates a bunch of episode scripts word for word, only adding a couple scenes where Xander gets to show off how cool he is. This is actually a pretty common fanfic genre in all fandoms. I can’t even call it a fix-fic, because nothing is fixed, especially not the writer’s skills.
There’s literally nothing else to say about this. It gets a spot on this list instead of the one below because at least it didn’t actively hurt me. Actually, Xander constantly called his friends his “pride”, which did hurt me a little.
★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Jedi Harris
Also early in season one, Xander gets possessed by a fake american soldier spirit11 because he dresses up as a soldier on Halloween. What if he used a Jedi costume instead? Well he’d be possessed by Obi Wan Kenobi and get access to the Force and eventually build a lightsaber.
This is a really common plot device in fanfics, as I learned.
For some reason, this story is a Stargate SG-1 crossover. That is also a really common plot device in fanfics. I have the feeling this fanfic has far more historical significance than quality, by virtue of being Perfectly Generic.
Perfectly Generic means boring, and the crossover didn’t help.
★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆
Born in Fire
It is a really common plot device in fanfics. Xander goes trick-or-treating as the Avatar from The Last Airbender on Halloween and gets elemental magic powers. I’ll give this one credit for not merely making that the only change—the villains gave him the costume on purpose, so they could hijack the Avatar’s power for their own.
The narration was more than a bit clumsy, though, and it eventually started incorporating events from Angel, which I haven’t watched, so I dropped it. It was kind of boring nonetheless and I would have been really surprised if it got better later.
★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆
Buffy Meets Star Trek
I don’t need to explain the premise. The writing was competent, but I found the Trek side fairly uninteresting and out of character, and stopped reading when the writer introduced his OC starship and crew to take over the plot. I have nothing else to say here.
★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Successor
Turns out the post of “Mayor of Sunnydale” is inherited by whoever slays him, like in the classic Tim Allen movie The Santa Clause. Buffy needs to step up and learn politics, city management and either use diplomacy or violence to deal with a variety of problems.
This one is a quest. For those who don’t know, a quest is a story, usually taking place in a forum, where the readers can make choices that affect it. It ranges from voting on the actions of the main character, to choosing stat points and skills, to outright voting on what the next arc will be.
But Successor strives to have the most boring spin on the concept. Unfortunately for the author, quests aren’t meant to only offer two choices to the main character, one of which is the objectively right move, and the other which he well knows no one will pick in a million years. This shouldn’t have been a quest in the first place if that was the writer’s intention.
As a story is only slightly more interesting than watching paint dry, because it’s not only politics, it’s small town politics. It gets points for having a truly original pairing,12 and having spins on original episodes instead of poorly rewriting them, like a demon game show similar in concept and execution to the Buffy musical episode, Once More, with Feeling.
Beyond that, completely forgettable.
★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆
Living History
A group of randos that worship Xander and Faith from the far, far future decide to time travel to Sunnydale—their historical Time of Heroes—to ask for help. They arrive right after the Buffy finale, when the main cast is in Colorado.
As I struggled through the mediocre writing and characterization, I realized the entire conceit of the fic was just an excuse to eventually write Xander/Faith romance. I dropped it instantly so someone else tell me if I got that wrong.
★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Journeys
I can give this one credit for getting out of Sunnydale and doing something special with Xander’s post-S2 coming-of-age roadtrip. In canon, he just gives up right after leaving and goes back to his parents’ basement.13 In this one, he moves all over the country.
This somehow makes him cross over with Charmed, Predator, the obscure movie Vampires, the obscure TV show The Pretender, and, somehow, again, Stargate SG-1. God, people loved that show.
Xander drives around and gets in trouble, in mostly episodic fashion, though some characters from each adventure stick around for the next arcs. There are a few alright characters and plot devices, but overall it stinks of being someone’s first story, and pacing is godawful, in that often seen fashion where you know the author can stretch it out forever.
Indeed, right as it seemed to be over, the author wrote something like “And that’s Book I!”, which made me look at their FFnet profile and discover there were like five more books.
Screw that, it wasn’t worth it to continue. I’d rather watch Xena: Warrior Princess. Hmm… no that’s not worth reviewing either.
★★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆
The Iron Coin Chronicles
In Buffy canon, one of the villains worships the concept of Chaos,14 which makes you think there would be an entire conceptual pantheon. This fic makes use of that gimmick to have Chaos choose Xander as a pawn in the fight against Fate.
If this sounds stupid, don’t worry, it very much is. Xander’s only boon is a coin than, when flipped, shows him Buffy episode plots in the near future. It’s not really future sight, because once he’s butterflied15 plots away, he still gets visions of them, as Fate has established those things are supposed to happen. He gets a Cassandra Curse to go with it, being unable to tell anyone how he knows.
There is some cool stuff you could do with that plot device. Unfortunately, I felt like the writer took the most boring option every time he had a choice. UnlikeThe Pride of Sunnydale, which doesn’t change enough, The Iron Coin outright skips some of the most interesting things to alter, replacing them with lame alternatives and rote interpersonal drama. When you take all the action away without adding anything in, the pacing is going to suffer.
Also, the writer is one of those who refuse to use character names more than once every five minutes. Yes, “the brunette spoke”, “the Chosen One said”, “the future-sight enhanced male opined”. It drove me fucking insane.
★★★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
The Ugly Ones
These are outright unreadable, and I’m amazed even a single person recommended them. I’m merely going to drop excerpts from their first chapters, so you’ll understand why I dropped them early.
The captain took a deep breath — hard enough to draw his nostrils closed — then blinked. He looked at Buffy and said, "You disarmed him?"
"Um...yeah."
"You disarmed a Klingon male in the prime of his life?"
Spike started snorting, though to be fair, it was because he was trying not to laugh. "Well. Yeah. But I didn't know he wasn't a de — I thought he was something else. I just want to let go and know he won't try to kill me, but he's not agreeing to it," she said, glaring at Worf's ear.
"Mr. Worf? Agree to her terms," he said quietly.
"No. Today is a good —"
"I don't recall giving you an option, Lieutenant."
"We haven't gotten up to Dawn but neither has anyone else." Giles said as he seemed a little short of breath.
Not that Giles was out of shape or anything but rather that his lifestyle wasn't tuned properly to make him ready for such an intense battle. Watchers by their very nature were only meant to engage in battle when it was absolutely necessary in order to protect the Slayer or ensure the safety of the world. For the most part they were the brains of the operation whereas the Slayer was the brawn which meant the only muscle they were meant to keep in prime condition was their brain. Still Giles was pretty above average in the fighting shape department as he had taken a more active role in the slayage than most other Watchers. Still he would have to stick close to the Watcher the next time they made a rush for the minions just to play it on the safe side.
"Somebody's up there." Spike said as his keen vampire eyes spotted movement atop the tower other than the visible struggling of Dawn.
Not liking the vampire but unable to refute the sounds that were coming from the top of the tower.
"Okay we gotta charge or something." He said as his mind began to sift through various scenarios that might get them past the goons and up the tower.
"What kind of magic is this? How did I not sense it happening?" the immortal Emperor of mankind asked, more then a little surprised and annoyed as he realised that for the first time in near twenty millennia, he was truly alive.
He couldn't be, he was humanities guardian, he needed to walk the path of the warp, of the immaterium to guide his mighty servants as they defended humanity from the alien, the demon and the pysker.
"Where the hell am I?" Snake looked around and fired rounds off from his rifle scaring these monsters away.
Snake turned around in a hurry as he saw a familiar face, red hair, beautiful smile, this can't be right. "Who are you?"
"It's me… Willow"
Snake frowned as one very clear thought entered his head. Otacon is getting his ass kicked, he agreed to VR training after the big shell not this LARPing crap he thinks his best friend calls it. For now he'll just play the part of Xander's soldier so he can get the hell out of here.
Some of these have a three digit number of recommendations. Oh, the humanity.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
The Actually Great One
Legend
Some of you may know ShayneT from his—as I call it—Gamer Taylor saga (A Wand for Skitter, Kill Them All, Intuition) a series of Worm crossover fics featuring a hyper-competent, borderline sociopathic Taylor Hebert.
This is nothing like that. This is a Star Trek: the Next Generation (TNG) crossover.
The story begins with a clever plot device, in the middle of the TNG episode The Most Toys. An alien has a collection of many rare pieces of art and technology he’s been buying and trading for a long time, and his rarest pieces are Lieutenant Commander Data and the Buffybot (accompanied by a capsule containing Buffy’s body).
The Buffybot and Data get to know each other as they escape and fight their way back to the Enterprise starship, taking a frozen Buffy with them. On learning who Buffy is, however, the ship’s crew becomes wary. Turns out, after the events of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, she became one of the most known figures of the Eugenic Wars, a canonical Star Trek event wherein genetically enhanced humans nearly took over the world. A Slayer is not so different from an enhanced human, so over three hundred years, her role got distorted.
The story is largely social-based, with hardly any fight scenes or complex mysteries. It’s about the ship’s crew learning to trust someone they think is a war criminal (she is, but on the ‘right’ side),16 the Federation as a whole becoming aware of the more magical side of the universe, and Buffy having to team up with benevolent nerds.
It’s really well characterized. Buffy is different from her show self (justifiedly so, given she’s decades older), while everyone else is spot-on. Scene-to-scene writing is… classic ShayneT. Fully functional, but a bit stilted, with no poetic flair, and an unexpected amount of social commentary.
I don’t really want to spoil some of the cooler aspects of this fic, so I’ll just highly recommend it if you’ve watched at least some of both shows.
★★★★★★★★★☆
(I’m already finishing a draft of a real book review, so expect a new post soon.)
See the historical archives.
Or 2004, depending on whether you count Angel, its spinoff show.
Yes, yes, I can foresee your complaints: Star Trek or even Sherlock Holmes truly started fandom themselves, if you want to get technical.
“The cast and crew had the special "colors" for their user name but had to enter their password! God, I forgot about that! Joss would jump on the message board on Wednesday during the day to see how everyone liked the previous night's show. I'd lurk a bit and then go to class and come back in the evening to see the conversation was still going. Simpler times!” - User Simpleba, re: The Bronze.
Check out this Ozymandias-like mausoleum for Harry Potter.
A common story involved one of many “rival” fic archive sites dying, and the remaining survivors getting the spoils, so to speak—those fics would get reuploaded by either the original author, fans, or fans pretending to be the author.
Or until I get one, I guess.
Unless you don’t even know what Buffy the Vampire Slayer is, in which case check out my previous article.
Including song lyrics in your fics became such a cliche in the 2000s that it’s taboo to do it nowadays, in any fashion. I believe Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality mentions that as reasoning for removing a scene where the kids sing the lyrics to Ghostbusters. I am legitimately not making any of this up.
Holy shit, what is wrong with my writing style in this particular reviewlet? It was completely unintentional, and I blame the subject of my next book review.
“But actually…”, shut up.
Buffy/Harmony, as a rare result of the audience picking the wrong option once. Yeah, I don’t know how the fuck that happened either, but those who watched the show will agree with me that it’s hilarious.
I do wonder if they wanted to do something with this on the TV show, but had budgetary issues—Buffy is pretty infamous for reusing the same sets over and over.
No relation to the deity in Hades.
Or am I just misleading you to avoid spoiling you???